God is doing something unique and precious during the wait. . . knowing sometimes He called and hasn't felt near since.
Press in, beloved.
You must be brave to make the decision to pursue and fight for a child. Your heart will grow faint if it is not filled and strengthened by the Lord. Oh, you may survive if you go it alone, but it will not be what He wants it to be. The process will not teach or grow you the way He wants it to. You will see goodness here-not just in eternity. Things may not be how you thought they might be, but your heart will be strengthened. You will be more in love with your Savior which is most precious above all else.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
~Psalm 27:13-14
The greatest temptation in a an era of technology is to take things into your own hands. You can compare timelines and other agencies, other countries and even people from your own orphanage. It makes you want to DO something to make your documents move like Mrs. Jones' documents. What if, just if, you did not have the blogging world? What if you do not have group forums? Some information is helpful and encouraging, but it can also cause you to envy what the Lord seems to be doing in someone else's family. It can make you doubt your agency, case workers, lawyers, etc. It can make you want to rise up and do something more. It is a delicate balance of trusting the Lord will work on your behalf and moving when the Lord tells you to.
What are your fears in this waiting time? What is the thing you think you cannot handle? Search your heart and make sure your decisions are not made out of fear. Are you avoiding foster care locally because you fear birthparents or the possibility of loss? Are you not taking an older child because you fear he may have "issues?" Are you not taking a child with disabilities because you fear the pain or medical bills? Are you not accepting a child multi-ethnically because you fear what others think or don't want to handle the questions from your child or from others about adoption? Are you choosing a domestic adoption because you fear issues of children with orphanages?
I was going to type out all the ways I have experienced this various things and how my perspectives have been deepened or changed. But then I realized that it is sweeter coming from the Lord.... have Him search your heart. The innermost, subtle parts that fear what He may want for you. Confess, turn and trust. There are still times when I squirm under the umbrella of His will, but it always best. And I know I would follow Him now to places I would have never consider before.
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my birthmother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
.... every day is already ordained for your little one... even the day your documents will be approved and your passports are printed and your child is in your arms and home forever.....
Your responses will educate, encourage, prepare and exhort those around you. There are times when your heart longs to be refreshed and lifted by your friends and family. You may find at the end of a day, though, that you are the one carrying them. It can be heavy if you have a large family or church community. During this wait, God will be refining your intimate circle. This will be important for bonding with your child when she comes home. He will also be teaching you how to redirect people's comments. This, too, will be vital when your little one is home forever (especially if you are adopting an older child or will have a multi-ethnic family). You get to practice, out of the ear-shot of your child, loving, gracious and Godly responses to crazy questions. God is using you subtly through your obedience and overtly by your direct answers to teach people about the beautiful plan of adoption. Amazing!
Lord, please grant these precious women the ability and strength to respond in each moment with grace and wisdom. And may they be refueled by You for this service.
Is this a child for a family or a family for a child? It is a ministry.... to a child.
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