thewaitingheart

This is something you will have to decide based on the dynamics of your family.  I have friends that knew from the beginning the grandparents would be in the intimate circle.  The grandparents supported their parenting needs and decisions.  They drew lines when needed but were allowed to cuddle, snuggle, and hold the children.  This may be a good choice if you have in-laws that live with you or are part of your daily lives.  

However, I think-and this is only my opinion- that even close relationships should have a boundary for the first couple of months.  This includes not holding, hugging, kissing or feeding the child.  It is much easier to assess how your kids are doing and then expand the border than have to reign it in.  That can be hard for others who are not going to see all of the little things you do and why you might have to do that.  Over and over we heard people say, "we wish we had done that.  We hurt our family when we had to tell them not to pick up or snuggle our son for awhile."  

After some time, you can reassess and change things.  You can then move to a spot where you tell your family members and your child they must ask you for permission in front of the child.  For instance, grandma would say in front of Billy, "Mommy, may I give Billy a cookie?"  This lets the child know you are still the provider.  Or Billy says, "Mommy, may I give uncle a hug?"  This gives you an opportunity to explain to the child whether or not they are an intimate.  If not you can respond, "No, but a high five would be great!"

During the transition time, give them options that would be helpful.  Non-physical games, grocery shopping, house keeping, etc.  The Lord will show you what is best for your family.